~ A Mother ~
by: Mary Jo Rogers,
Brashear, Texas
A bosom to cradle, a bosom so sweet,
a bosom that knows her
children's heartbreak, joy and defeat.
A shoulder to lean on, a shoulder to cry on,
A shoulder to laugh on, or
sigh on, and if need be to die on.
A heart so giving, a heart so pure,
A heart so caring;
the love of a mother will forever endure.
A soul so gentle, a soul so kind,
a soul with God and her children
constant on her mind.
A mother to give us, a mother to lead us,
a mother to teach us,
to love us and to patiently guide us.
Oh! Miracle of miracles.
A mother is a miracle.
Blessed be our mother!
__________________
"......Motherhood is one of those things that don't come with an instruction book. You've got to kinda learn as you go!"
Mrs. Venice Turner
It was a bright, sunny day on Thursday, May 5th when we ran into Mrs. Venice Turner at the City National Bank, downtown Sulphur Springs. Mrs. Turner is approaching her ninty-second birthday, having been born in Pickton, Texas, on July 5, 1913. Her lifetime has spanned some of the most memorable events in the history of the world. "I've been fortunate enough to see many changes in this old world," affirms Mrs. Turner. "I remember seeing my first automobile, the first airplane ride, man landing on the moon, and even the first radio my family purchased!"
Mrs. Turner grew-up on a hardscrabble farm outside Pickton, where she was one of twelve children. Her own mother died when she was 13 years old and she had to adjust to living with a step-mother, when her father remarried, caring for younger siblings as a regular part of her day. Venice Neighbors graduated from Pickton High School in 1931 and still remains closely associated with three of her girlfriends that attended school with her, Verna Ruth Kimmons, Pauline Hayden, and Grace Kight. "We've been friends for over 77 years and count Mr. Jack Simms, another classmate, as a close friend, as well," denotes Turner. "I guess you could say that we've known each other always!"
Venice Neighbors married Dude Turner, a Pickton boy, in 1936, and they headed for Pampa, Texas, to seek their fortune in the "oil patch." "We were young and had heard about some good jobs in the Texas Panhandle and would do almost anything to get away from hand-milking cows and picking cotton here in Hopkins County, during the Depression years," stated Mrs. Turner. "The Panhandle looked exciting and I'll never forget the little 'shotgun' house we moved into, in Pampa. It had basically two rooms and that is where I first began my duties as a mother. My oldest son, Dude Marlin, was born 11 months after I got married!"
Two more sons, Frankie and Mike, were born just 11 months apart in 1940 and 1941, and then Mrs. Turner finally got her daughter, Polly (Swatsell), when the family had left the Panhandle to come back to Hopkins County, in 1944. "Having children was quite different back when mine were born," denotes Mrs. Turner. "You virtually had no pre-natal care and just went to the local hospital to have your baby. Dr. Hanna delivered Polly and I think it cost about $25.00 for the services!"
Listening intently to Mrs. Turner's advice and reflections on childrearing, was another Hopkins County farmgirl, Michelle Thorpe Haney. Haney is an Assistant Vice-President at City National Bank and the mother of two children, Chase, who is three and a half years old, and Cole, who is only six months old. "My bill at the hospital was a little bit more," quipped Michelle. "I think it was about $5,500.00 for each of my boys, when they were born in the Hunt County Hospital in Greenville!"
"I feel my first responsibility is to my husband, Jeff, and my children......"
Michelle Haney
Michelle was one of two children who grew-up on a Grade-A family dairy farm south of Sulphur Springs and, like Mrs. Turner, knew that she wanted a different life than milking cows, feeding baby calves, and worst of all, scraping the lot! Michelle graduated from Sulphur Springs High School in 1990, attended college in Tyler, and earned her degree from then, East Texas State University, in 1995. She and Jeff Haney married in 1998 and waited over three years before their first son was born. "As expensive as having children is these days, and trying to plan childbirth around your work schedule, we wanted to make certain we were ready to be parents," denoted Michelle. "It is such a big responsibility and changes your schedule so much, I would advise anyone to really plan, and then you're going to have many, many surprises!"
"With my first child, I was actively involved in Mother's Culture Club, and several other activities, outside the home," states Michelle. "But, now that Cole has been born, time is of essence, so I have prioritized to make certain that any extra time is spent with Jeff and the children. I feel my first responsibility is them!"
In the approximately 60 years that spanned the birth of Mrs. Turner's firstborn and Michelle Haney's firstborn, many things have changed in childbearing and childcare. "I stayed in the hospital for 27 days and then had a friend to come and stay home with me to help take care of the baby," denoted Mrs. Turner. "I had never seen a doctor before my first baby was born and he just delivered the baby and then they thought you should stay in the hospital to gain your strength back! I look back and realize that I was really 'green' when it came to being prepared for motherhood. It's one of those things that don't come with an instruction book! You kinda have to learn as you go!"
Michelle Haney laughingly advised, "I had my first child and two days later was at home. With the second one, I stayed in the hospital only one night. Of course, we had been to childbirth classes and I had made regular doctor's visits, first monthly, and then weekly, just before both of my boys were born!"
"Did you have a rub-board to wash your diapers on?" questioned Mrs. Turner. "I used cloth diapers and didn't have a washing machine when my children were little. You had to wash diapers using a tub and rub-board, to get them clean!"
"Mine are more 'the Pamper's generation'," denoted Michelle. "I did use cloth diapers as 'burp rags,' to protect my clothing. I do know what they are!"
Michelle Haney is what most would term a modern "working mom." She took only three months leave from work with each of her children and bemoaned having to leave them in childcare when the time came to return to work. "I'm fortunate to work for City National Bank, who is very supportive of mothers with small children," stated Michelle Haney. "They understand when you have sick children and allow you to meet their needs, when illness strikes. And, it is going to strike, when you have small children!"
Michelle's day begins at 6:00 each morning, when she arises and begins to get two small children fed, bathed, and ready to drop-off at daycare. By a few minutes 'til 8:00, Michelle delivers Chase and Cole to the center, where she pays $70.00 per child each week for their care. She is at work by 8:15 and returns at 5:30 to pick her children up. Then, it's a full job of getting children home, supper fixed, and a wide variety of activities that are required of a growing family. "And, as my boys get older, I know it will be even more activities of school, at church, t-ball, and all the many activities that they will be involved with," anticipates Michelle.
Mrs. Turner advised that she was a "stay-at-home" mom until her children were school age. "I didn't seek work outside the home, until Polly, my youngest, began school. Then, I began work first as a supervisor in a clothing factory, and ended my working career, as a dietician," allowed Mrs. Venice Turner. "With the children requiring more and more expensive items and being involved in more school activities, the added income was necessary for our family to function. We wanted washing machines, televisions, and other modern conveniences for our family, as they became available."
"I've seen almost anything you can imagine," denotes Mrs. Turner. "With four children, thirteen grandchildren, ninteen great-grandchildren, and even one, great-great grandchild, I've about seen it all! But, I wouldn't trade it for the world. I love them all!" Mrs. Turner has helped with each of the grandchildren, when they were born and fondly rocks, bottles, and diapers, the great-grands and great-great grand. "I just worry about the future of each generation more," states Mrs. Turner. "Seems like there is more and more things for children to bear with each new group of children......when my kids were growing-up you didn't have to worry about the drug culture, school violence, and drive-by shootings. And, it is everywhere today!"
"The need for strong families is even greater today," states Michelle Haney. "With so much happening in the world, it is sobering to think of what our children must face, as they anticipate school, the uncertainties of the work world, and the cost of higher education. If you let yourself think about all those things, though, you would never have planned on having children......you've just got to trust God, take them to church, and do lots of praying!"
"Prayer solves lots and lots of problems," affirms Mrs. Turner. "There isn't a parent anywhere that hasn't had to depend on God's help to get their children reared to adulthood. I've been blessed with four wonderful children and each of them are different and special in their own way. Of course, I've got one that is a 'clown;' I've got one that is tenderhearted and very passive, and I've got one that 'tell's it like it is! They are all different!"
"My little boys aren't really old enough to assess their personality differences, yet," inserts Michelle. "But, I can already tell that they are going to be 'all boy' and give me a run for my money!"
"I was the disciplinarian in our family," suggests Mrs. Turner. "The one time I asked for assistance to spank one of my boys, I found out later that my husband took him in the bedroom, closed the door, and told him to scream everytime he hit the bed with the belt. He was a lot of help!"
"With dual working families, today, I think it is much more imperative that the dad be actively involved in the family and with the rearing of children," advised Michelle Haney. "Jeff changes diapers, feeds hungry kids, and is active in spending time with our boys, when I've been at work all day, also. Without his help, I'd never get all the things done and the household chores complete, while maintaining a job and managing a household. Childrearing is definitely a team effort in our house!"
Certainly, many, many things have changed in childrearing in the past sixty-plus years. Theories about discipline have come and gone. Prenatal care has improved drastically, and the cost of rearing children has skyrocketed. However, as Mrs. Turner anticipates Mother's Day 2005 and is "hinting" for a ride in a hot air balloon, as one of her Mother's Day presents, she strongly advises, "A mother's love never ends.......whether you are just in your twenties, or you've reached ninty-plus years, you still worry about your children, want the best for them, and love them unconditionally......that's just what being a mother is all about!"
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